It is likely that toxic people learned their behaviour during their own childhood, either by being exposed to the toxic behaviour of others or by being overpraised without being taught the key quality of empathy. The more you try to step out of ‘your place’, the more a toxic person will call on toxic behaviour to bring you back and squash you into the tiny box they believe you belong in. Not the loving, healthy control that tries to keep everyone safe and happy – buckle your seatbelt, be kind, wear sunscreen – but the type that keeps people small and diminished.Įverything they do is to keep people small and manageable. This will play out through criticism, judgement, oppression – whatever it takes to keep someone in their place. For the most part though, they will feel nurturing and life-giving to be in. Things will be said and done and forgiven, and occasionally rehashed at strategic moments. In any normal relationship there will be fights from time to time. All relationships have their flaws and none of them come packaged with the permanent glow of sunlight and goodness and beautiful things. Though families and relationships can feel impossibly tough at times, they were never meant to ruin. Sadly, families are not immune to the poisonous lashings of a toxic relationship. If toxic people were an ingestible substance, they would come with a high-powered warning and secure packaging to prevent any chance of accidental contact.
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